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"Wild Wedding Weekend Kicked My Ass" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-10-16 05:20:10

These are the stories of two former roommates who love to laugh their effin hearts out. Originally from (NORTH!) Jersey we have pride in all things Garden State. One of us is always stereotypically hungover (it's the one of us who hasn't had a bat mitzvah). And one of us is always shoving lox and shmear in her face on Sunday mornings (it's the one of us who isn't a whisky swilling mick). Facts: Jew resides in Brooklyn Irish in Astoria we love boys and beer and have been known to be classy on occasion.. until boys and/or beer get involved. We're happy to have a place to share our thoughts and ridiculous tales of living in nyc and being fabulous broads with hearts made of jagerbombs. Hope you enjoy :) It is a miracle that I am keeping down my Goldrush Chicken sandwich right now because the entire room is spinning. I just got back from one of the best weddings I have ever been too which is great considering by the end of the summer I was truly all wedding'ed out. The groom is the first one of my homeboys to get married so it was kinda a big deal for me and all of my guy friends especially since most of us were in the wedding party. I headed home Thursday to see Ernie who apparently has realized that yes he needs this Irish gal in his life. I lectured him about being a lazy friend and flat out asked him. "Why is it so easy for you to just not think about me." To which he looked at me shocked and responded. "I think about you all the time but you know how it is..." God I love open-ended answers. But he's right. I know how it is.. our friendship has always been too intimate and when one is in a serious relationship one cannot continue to have their fake girlfriend on the side. Oh well this is the joy of those tricky guy-girl friendships. As a "guy's girl" you learn to expect this crap. I managed to avoid stopping in at the hometown bar and therefore avoided a face to face with Paddy. Ironically he called that night anyway to inform me he will stop by this week to fix my radiator and see the new place. I think I'm busy this week. Friday I woke up early and got ready to head upstate for the wedding. I was supposed to pick up FunnyGuy and LifeLongCrush at Noon. At 11:24 I decided that I just had to get my nails done. Big mistake but since I'm not really the "get your nails done" type I didn't anticipate that it would take over an hour. Noon went by and neither one of the boys called so I figured I was in the clear. At 12:40 LifeLong finally called and hazed the shit outta me over the phone. "Irish what the fuck why did you have to pick today to get all girly on us. This is our bestfriends fucking wedding and we have to be there at 4:00 sharp you are ridiculous." After yelling back and causing a scene at the nail place I hung up on him. Then a text came from FunnyGuy "Why are your nails break'n my balls Irish?"I went into panic mode and asked the woman to hurry up and skip the top coat. After what seemed like forever my nails were finally good to go.. so I picked up the boys and we hit the road. The trip was off to a great start with the usual. "Let's make fun of Irish" jokes." aka let's bring up all the embarrassing stories from age 5 to present day and see if Irish can handle it. I'm tough and get in my fair share of jabs. I enjoy the banter. Then LifeLong had to go ahead and be a douchebag and bring back up me being late again which really upset me because I truly felt bad.. "What the fuck were you thinking getting your nails done don't you realize how important this whole weekend is we are going to be so late everyone is going to be standing around waiting for us and its going to be ALL YOUR FAULT" I think he realized he was crossing the line when my eyes started to tear up. I think I forced the tears to make him feel bad it worked. I got a half hour neck massage and a pretty sweet apology as a result. The boys vowed that we would equally take the blame for being late. Luckily I maintained a nice 85mph pace and we were looking like time was on our side. I even refused LifeLong a pit stop and made him pee in a coke can. Ha. When we finally arrived and pulled up the bride and groom's block. Bert was pulling in the driveway. Bert left an hour and a half before us.. thank god Bert always gets lost. We were only 20 minutes late and no one was ready to leave anyways. Major relief. After we all gathered up we went to the church for the rehearsal. Of course the bride's uncle came right up to me in front of the priest and declared. "You must be Irish. I hope everything I've heard about you is true." Bert who was my "walking down the aisle" partner rolled his eyes and said. "Great Irish everyone knows you're a lush." We headed to the rehearsal dinner where we feasted on some serious Italian Food and I decided to drink an entire bottle of Merlot. Delish. LifeLong went right after the bride's younger cousin and we were all impressed by his new found game. FunnyGuy and I were obligated to mock the hell outta him regardless. Then it was time to leave my homeboys behind... I was off to spend the nights with the bridesmaids back at the house while they went off to the hotel with my car the hotel that was in a casino.. big mistake. I pulled FunnyGuy and LifeLong aside and gave them a motherly chat about how they needed to go to bed and not stay out all night gambling. Well that apparently left a lasting impression on them since they stayed out till 6am blowing all their money on craps and throwing back drinks made with cheap vodka. Typical. I on the other hand went straight to sleep and woke up well rested. Us girls got up around 8am when the hair stylist showed up to sex us up. All the girls had these extravagant up-dos in mind... I hadn't even really thought about how I wanted mine done. I'm so not a fan of cheesy up-dos with crazy curls and what not... I'm tall enough so I don't need any big puffy do adding height to my frame. I opted for the more conservative sleeked back look with a deep side part and a low group of pinned back curls. It looked great. Some of the girl's hair looked like they should be wearing Jessica McClintock circa 1997 prom dresses but for the most part we all looked hot as hell. I called up FunnyGuy to see how all the groomsmen were making out and he answered all frantic. "Irish. I'm not going to the wedding.""What the fuck are you talking about""I'm at the Holiday Inn I got kicked out they took everything I have nothing I'm so fucked. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.""Shut up dude you're not funny.""Irish I fucked up so bad. I got real drunk and mad at the craps table and I punched out this guy and they kicked me out and they took everything. They took my tux and everything that was in the room. I don't know what to do or who to call they even took the valet ticket for the car.""My fucking car what the hell are you talking about ? you don't punch people are you ok? where is the groom? where is LifeLong? who are you with?"Irish I don't fucking know dude I'm going fucking crazy"At this point I started to choke on my words and tear up. FunnyGuys voice started to get really crazy like he had just really fucked up." I'm gonna figure out how to get over there.""Hahahahahahahahaha you always fucking cry Irish hahahahaha. LifeLong. Irish is crying hahahahahaahahaha"Fucking assholes. Finally we headed off to the church in our stretch Navigator and downed some champagne on the way.. not a whole lot since I was worried about tripping on my dress and falling down the aisle but it worked out just perfectly. The groom was so nervous he couldn't even smile it was precious. The ceremony was short well short for a Cath wedding. The boys were all. "that was a long one" and I'm like hello dudes we didn't even have communion get with it wait till my wedding.. shit is gonna be like an hour and a half full mass flower tribute to Mary. Ave Maria.. and I'm thinking bagpipes. Then we got back into the limo where LifeLong proceeded to pass out like a total crack head and FunnyGuy turned pale as all hell he later had to exuse himself and puke during our photo session. And I get lectured on being late?? Please. When we finished the boys jetted back over to the hotel while I was left to gather my bags and meet up with them. Of course neither of the two would answer their phones and I had to call 4 people before I figured out where our room was... I got a key from our friend Mike who was also in on our room but not in the wedding party. I walked into a dark pit of hell... FunnyGuy and LifeLong were passed out in their boxers. The room looked like Motley Crew had stayed there the night before it was a nightmare. I dropped my bags told them they were both scumbags reminded them not miss the wedding and then headed to the pre-party. The brides father cornered me at the pre-party and declared. "Irish this is the night you get to prove that you can out drink the boys." Ernie chimed in. "Apparently you've never drank with Irish." With that I threw back my first of 15 vodka tonics. I bonded with Ernie's girlfriend because it was the right thing to do despite the fact that I'm jealous she's stolen my friend away. Eh he should really break up with her :) Then we were off to the cocktail hour. FunnyGuy and LifeLong made it on time and cleaned up rather nicely. I was impressed. I mingled a ton ate a ton and drank a ton. Bert and I decided that at the reception for the wedding party entrance we were not doing the spin around 'n twirl ordeal so we stuck with the more traditional arm clutch entrance. Worked out well. LifeLong was macking it hardcore with Bride's Cousin they were practically dry humping during their grand entrance a total indicator of what the end of the night was going to look like... On with the fun... FunnyGuy and I danced our asses off as we always do at weddings. I dragged Mike who is an old school New Brunswick Hardcore type-o-guy onto the dance floor a few times which was hilarious. Of course this sparked LifeLong into harassing the crap outta me because I accidentally made out with Mike on Thanksgiving Eve last year in front of everyone.. but we were totally trashed and at the time I didn't even realize it was Mike that I was making out with. (Wow that was a year ago crazy!)There were multiple Jersey dedications including but not limited to. Living on a Prayer and Glory Days.. the 50% of the guests from NJ sang in complete unison. Amazing. I did shots with LifeLong and Bride's Cousin over which he revealed to her that the reason he is so dumb is because I did his homework for him for so many years. True story.. the pathetic power of a crush. When the wedding finally ended we headed off to the after party back at the hotel/casino. Somewhere around 2am a few of us decided it was time to go gamble but first I needed to get outta my dress. Back in the room Bride's Cousin was bitching about how sore her feet were and how she wasn't sure if she'd be able to walk over to the other hotel where she was staying. LifeLong shot me a look of horror that basically said. "Shit. I need to get her to that hotel so we can get it on" so I offered her my sneakers which she happily accepted. I told LifeLong that he better remember to bring them back and he promised he would. They left. Then I realized that I myself had nothing but my heels to put on my feet with the sweatpants I had just changed into. I somehow always get shit on when I'm trying to get one of my dude friends laid. Luckily. FunnyGuy gave me his Chuck Taylor's that were about 4 sizes too large. I was looking hot as hell. I couldn't even see so I made the executive decision to only play the slots. Good move. I lost $40 and watched my homeboys lose a hell of a lot more. Between 4 and 5am we stumbled back into the bedroom where Mike started getting all emo over his girlfriend who apparently decided to stop talking to him outta nowhere the other day. He begged me to call her and leave a message on her voice mail. I said "no" he begged again. I said "give me the fucking number." So I left some girl I think I've met once a crazy voice mail about how she needs to call her boyfriend. Yea like that is going to do the trick... Boys are so dumb. Mike continued on and on about the GF but FunnyGuy and LifeLong (who was back from playtime with cousin) were getting pissed at his whining so I suggested that we go talk about it over a cig on the smoking floor. Little did I know that this would turn into a 2 hour production. Our friend John and his girlfriend joined us at some point and next thing I know the drunk convo has turned into a full out Dr. Phil therapy session. The drunken conclusion was that Mike needs to show up at GFs work and make her talk to him.. despite the fact that it sounds creepy as hell I confirmed that this was the logical thing for Mike to do when I was sober this morning. Ok maybe I was still drunk. At 7am LifeLong got up and left to catch a flight back to LA where he's currently working and accidentally left half his shit behind.. not to mention he never got my sneakers back from Bride's Cousin. 11:00am checkout was painful as all hell. I tried getting a late check out at 10:45 but it was unsuccessful. When FunnyGuy went to check out he learned that LifeLong's $100 cab ride had been charged to the room.. we agreed he is a cheap ass cock sucker but later learned it was a mistake (yet to be fixed). On the car ride home I felt so sick and could no longer drive to the Giants game on AM radio that I pulled over and told FunnyGuy he was driving. I slept the rest of the way. It was great. Conclusion: I love my fucking friends on a totally unhealthy level and this was a weekend I'll remember and cherish forever. Sap moment. Cheers. Irish country roads - yea man i knowyes ill - well i'm glad we entertain you :)sequined - this one has truly raised the barjew - haha yea yr guy friends are like chicks!ms understood - ironically if it was the other way around and there was a dude i wanted to hook up with the only thing he'd get outta my guy friends is a slug to the face samantha - yea it can be hard to keep up but i promise its fun as all hell~Irish That was hilarious. The New Jersey songs? Totally didn't realize that was just a Jersey thing until I played all of them on the jukebox one night at a bar in Maryland and was the only one singing/dancing. Well that's what I was told I did. I can't wait until my boys start getting married. It had better go down just like this.





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"Take a little time to say Hi to Carli" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-09-09 21:15:34

ass up face down bloggers, take a bit of your day to say Hi to Carli Banks. She has a nice new teaser video for you.
~Ray



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"Animal porn story - Elephant Love" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-04-08 02:31:57

Kara was in her senior year at the University of San Diego. An auburn haired beauty her compact five foot two close in was hardened by daily aerobic workouts. She was a 4.0 student working on her degree in zoology. She had been working evenings at the San Diego zoo for the last two year and helped take care of the animals there for the experience as well as the extra money. She had lots of duties with lots of different animals. Feeding watering and cleaning cages. She did it all. She change surface assisted the staff veterians in treating the animals when they needed it. She was come up liked and respected around the zoo. Kara especially loved the elephants. The gentle giants fascinated her. Her appartment was decorated with numerous framed elephant pictures and statues. She often stayed late into the night watching them interact. The zoo had several adult females several adolescences of both genders and one large bull male. Their habitat was a large fenced area toward the back of the zoo. It contained lots of trees and a small man-made lake. The elephants always made it down to the lake in the evening and spent a good move of the early evening bathing and playing in the water. Kara would sit in her favorite sight a large grow overhanging the wet and watch them. The day had been stifling hot and Kara was extremely alter from cleaning out some spider manipulate cages. It was very late in the evening. The zoo was closed and most of the cater was gone home for the day. The habitat lights didn’t reach this far in and the lake was most in follow. So she decided to act a bath right there in the elephant’s lake. She had done so several times before but never with the elephants so close. Although she wasn’t frightened at all because they knew her and trusted her. She stepped down to the waters edge and removed her boots and socks and her heavy work pants. Than she stepped into the wet. The wet felt good on her feet and calves so she she removed the rest of her clothing. Shirt panties and bra. Her firm converge and ass entangle exceed already freed from her constictive hot clothing. The elephants were very close. Maybe twenty-five feet away in a big assort. She walked out deeper in the water which was only waiste deep at it’s deepest point. Kara dove under the water coming up closer to the elephants. She walked closer to where they stood. She patted the back and transport of Tiffy. The youngest and smallest of the displace. A year old female. She gave out a small trumpet of recognition. Tantor the bull male was close behind a young female. Sara. Kara noticed for the first time that Tantor had an erection! It was roughly five feet long and as thick as a man’s leg. Sara must have been in toughen because Tantor was mounting her and attempting to put his penis in her. He wasn’t being too successful so Kara carefully got closer. She got underneath and pushed up on his penis until it pinteed at Sara’s vagina. As Tantor rammed it home. Kara got clear. He started to slowly punp the smaller Sara. Kara just stood back and watched. She was a little startled when Barbar a eight year old male gently touched her bring up with his trunk. She turned to face him and petted his trunk and ears. He continued to touch her face and pet with his trunk which felt alot like the slightly prepare transfer of a man. Babar was half again Kara’s height and his ears were in easy reach. Kara continued to rub his ears. He must have liked the feeling because he didn’t act away. He continued touching her with his trunk. He rubbed her shoulders and biceps. Than he moved down her front. Kara sucked in sharply whe the tip of his trunk and flexible as any hand felt her converge and nipples. He moved down her belly to her thighs. Kara took a wider stance to accept Babar easier access in his examine. His truck found the now moist area between her thighs and she shuttered as the tip of his trunk explored the folders and groves of her womanhood. Babar bagan to feel at her thighs and hips again so Kara turned around to let him finish his exploration of her. His trunk worked over her approve and down to her ass. Where again his trunk sent shivers up and down Kara’s spine. Kara turned to face Babar again and noticed that he had become aroused. She felt sorry for him. She knew Tantor wouldn’t allow him to mate with any of the females. So Kara decided to see if she could help him. While smaller than Tantors’. Babar’s penis was huge. Around four feet long and eight inches thick. Kara got under him. Careful not to scare him. He didn’t move. She reached up and slowly grabbed his penis with both hands. It reached almost to the wet. She began running her hands up and down it’s length en licking the huge head. Than she straddled it. Of cover it was far to big to fit in her but she could press it beween her legs and slide up and down it’s length using her hands too. It was very polish and bumpy and felt great against her clit and anus. Before long Babar began to rock back and forth gently and breath heavier. So fast it surprised her. Babar came. Shooting a huge fill straight out into the lake. Kara climbed out from under Babar who reached out and caressed her cheek with his trunk and ran his trunk over her converge and ass once. Kara washed off and got redressed. She knew that she would now apply studying the elephants more than ever and love them now more than before.





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"#14 - NWA "Straight Outta Compton"" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-01-16 02:33:34

Continuing with the ongoing series "." Worthy to say this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be as a compass or declaration of what many critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly our selections in no particular order. As usual we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy. N. W. A - Straight Outta Compton “Cause I’m the write (go) that’s built to measure. If you fuck with me. I’ll put a foot up yo’ ass. I don’t give a fuck cause I act bailin’. Yo! Dre…what the fuck are they yelling?” Overview: I must’ve owned this cassette tape at least 3 or 4 times. After my parents confiscated it a few times. I got wise and decided to tape over something else and or hide a copy of the tape as best I could. I’d carry the arouse thing on me at all times because I didn’t be to loose my street bible. And I a white kid growing up in the Burbs…hmm. Either way no matter how many times they deemed the album as “banned” in their house it just kept coming back like Freddy Krueger and they soon realized they couldn’t stop it. However they did put their foot down to me getting a Raiders “Starter” cover. That aside this album introduced many like me into gangsta rap. Who knew at the time that we were listening to something so raw and groundbreaking? Take whatever stance you will on rap but this is the point rap turned a corner and I’m talking about a good command. Was and is the communicate “wholesome” comfort today? Probably not but was it honest and real? Yes it absolutely was and still is today. Just evaluate about all the talent that N. W. A was comprised of?Key Musical Highlights: “copulate the Police.” Hands. drink. The entire album is a testament to the life of a gangster but “copulate the Police” was a wake-up strike to the face anthem that still reigns in recognise today. No offense to each additional track but FTP is the track that made and still makes you say “god damn they ruthless.”When and where to Listen: Anywhere you please. This is N. W. A who cares what other people think? True story. I was at a party that had one of those Karaoke machines where you could play your own CD’s and I ‘raoked “Gangsta. Gangsta” to the initial surprise and ensuing gratify of the crowd on hand. inspect and inform #2 in College I pumped “Fuck the Police” from my lie porch during the RIOTS in East Lansing following MSU’s loss to Duke in the Final Four. So needless to say. I’m not ashamed to spread N. W. A anytime or displace. You may feel the opposite but that’s your prerogative. Who you’re likely to meet wearing this t-shirt?I’m not sure but they must be some cool ass mother fuckers. Lasting Impression: The Revolution of Rap. N. W. A raised the stakes and forever changed the adorn of Rap. Violence and profanity was at a new premium on this preserve and it spawned the labeling of music as “Explicit Lyrics” and “Parental Discretion Advised.” As many realize this forever changed music as we know it. Overall: What else really needs to be said that hasn’t already been said? N. W. A was a collection of All-Stars whom have each gone their separate ways and attained immense levels of success. The group released a few more studio efforts post “Straight Outta Compton.” However none of them came change surface close to breaking down the walls that this record from Dre. Cube. Eazy-E. Ren. Yella and Arabain Prince did. And that folks is why this one just had to register on the Ghost Top 101.





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"Prison Break Transcript Season 2 Episode 4 First Down" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2007-12-20 20:50:54

Prison Break s02e04Season 2 Episode 4. First Down CUT TO:[Car down the rural highway. Lincoln at the wheel. Michael sitting shotgun. Nika is in the approve]Nika: What happens when you get to Mexico? Where will you go?Michael: [Without turning around] It's best if you don't know. It's best for everyone. We'll drop you off in the next town andI'll wire you that $10,000 like i said. Shouldn't take more than a week or two. Lincoln: [Glances in the rearview mirror and notice a car on their tail] Michael. We got company. What's hell going on?[Michael and Nika turn around and the car hit them]Lincoln: Hold on!Michael: Who is it? Who is it?Lincoln: It's Bellick!Michael: Hold on hold on hold on. Can this thing go any faster?!Lincoln: What do you think?!Michael: Look out(Geary shoves the car and they crashed into a large tree)(Lincoln. Michael and Nika get out of the crushed and smoking car)Bellick: (shooting) Nobody move! Nodody move!Bellick: (to Lincoln and Michael) Good to see you again boy. Lincoln: No need for anyone to get cause to be perceived boss. Bellick: Boss? Oh there’s no be for formalities anymore there saint. I’m no longer an employee of the express thanks to you. Michael: I think somebody wants that reward. Bellick: Oh it’s not about reward money friend. Your pal Manche told me all about your little treasure hunt for Westmorland’s stash. Get in the car. We’re goin’ to Utah! CREDITS CUT TO:(Walking towards the car)Bellick: All the cops following you all over the country when all you had to do is follow the tail you know? act that moneymaker sweetheart. Geary: (pushing Lincoln) Let's move it convict. Michael: If you know about the moneyin Utah why do you need us?(Meanwhile. Lincoln puts a shard of the broken headlight under the wheel)Bellick: Well the excitement of the escape. Manche didn't hear everything Westmoreland said before the old bird kicked the lay. But he heard enough: Utah and five million. You'll fill in the blanks. (Roughs up Nika)(Michael tries to intervene)Bellick: Don't even evaluate about getting cute smart-Ass. Now you and your brother are gonna take me right to where that money is or the whore gets dead real fast. Ask me if I'm bluffing. CUT TO: Mahone's Office(Mahone is at his desk staring at the case file of OScar Shales)Wheeler: The dredging of the river under Scofield's apartment cut some fruit. Found a hard drive under the river bed. Serial numbers be an order that Scofield put in with dell a few months before he was incarcerated. They've recovered.





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